Five Steps In Getting Over Your Ex
Yes, we specialize in RECONCILIATION. We help get your ex back. We help coach you on the proper moves to make or the improper moves to avoid. However, not everyone gets their ex back and once you are ready to actually move on we have a few observations and suggestions we can make in our experience helping people reconcile. Ironically some of these steps also help in getting your ex back, whether you want this outcome or not.
Steps in getting over your ex:
1) Remove the Pedestal- In your mind, if you were the one that got broken up with, you have probably placed your ex on a higher “pedestal” than you had him or her on prior to the breakup. This elevated sense of importance you are giving to them is not good for getting back together, nor is it good for your overall health. You must understand and truly believe that you are every bit as valuable to this world as your ex . In fact, if your ex feels that you have lowered yourself to sub-important, then your weaker outlook and attitude will be viewed as unattractive. This is a hard thing to help since naturally your self esteem has indeed taken a beating. We know a breakup can be hard on the ego.
2) Remember you are broken up for a reason – Yes. You want your ex back badly, but like the old Rolling Stones tune says, “You can’t always get what you want…” If the relationship was toxic and hazardous to your future, reach into your inner addiction and accept that the universe is not conspiring for you to be with this person. Try to accept the real reasons for the breakup as hard as that may be.
3) Remove Fear of the Future- Our clients’ number one fear is that they will not find someone that compares to their ex. This lie gets repeated over and over in your head, but it is not mathematically possible. If you only have one person on the brain, you must remind yourself that other people exist with different qualities, and perhaps better qualities. The soul mate theory that you keep repeating to yourself needs to be challenged, because your ex is not acting like your soul mate now.
4) Understand that you do not own your Ex- Visualize Them With Someone Else and be Ok with It. If you could bop your ex on the head and drag them into your cave as a captive, would you ? Well, if you answer yes to this question then you may need to consider professional medical counseling. We don’t own other human beings in the modern world. Accept that your ex is not a criminal or a villain for breaking up with you. They did not break any laws. If you victimize yourself solely over a breakup, then you are not doing yourself any favors from a reconciliation perspective or from an inner personal perspective.
5) Evaluate Your Own Self Worth In the World- This one is cliche’ and tiresome, but very true. Does your ex deserve you? If you have tried everything, begged and pleaded and apologized, the answer should be no after a certain point, but only you can determine that point.